Defined by Failure
Defined by Failure
Have you ever felt defined by failure?
Like everything you have ever done wrong is what makes you the person that you are in the eyes of the people around you? No matter how much good you try to do, perfect isn’t even good enough to shake the image that has been thrust upon you like an ugly Christmas sweater.
Doubt swirls through your head and tears shine in your eyes as once again the things you forgot to do outweigh the things you did, do every day, the things that you do because you care. You try to be a better person and try harder to change the bad and make the life you are living a little easier.
But old habits die hard. You still put things off because there is something else waiting to be done. A dream still not recognized. That silent one that you don’t really talk about for fear of jinxing it or for the fear of being told it will fail. Because that’s what you are, right, a failure??
Self esteem rolling down a steep hill, as you grasp for limbs of hope. Maybe today, maybe today will be the day that you burst out of the shell of failure and into the light and freedom of accomplishment. There will be tears of pride and joy.
You did it! You made your dream come true!
Nope, not today. Today is another failure. Today is another step back. It’s another shuffle into pain and self awareness. That awareness that you are not even good enough for yourself, how could you ever be good enough for someone else?
Tears of joy, no, tears of sorrow and shame, yet again.
A failure. Defined by the wrong that you do. The good has been too far shadowed by the bad to find its way into the light ever again.
I’d fight my way to success if I could. But I am defined by failure. I will only be recognized by my shortcomings and looked over for that which I am truly great at.
Because in this day and age greatness is something bought and paid for. To receive pride and recognition you must first give more than just your all. You have to give more than the loving and caring of a loyal wife to receive the romance and chivalry of a doting husband.
In a world where the masses have turned their back on God yet expect him to create miracles. Even His most devout followers, failures in a harsh and cruel world. Not devout enough for those who judge and crucify, for those who don’t even see perfection as enough.
God embraces our quirky differences. He made us as we are so that the world could see failure and accept that it is part of life. He did not make every wife a Stepford wife. He gave us freewill and our own differences, but he gave us rules to abide, both for those perfect doll-like women who keep pristine clean homes and for the women who spend their time rushing around in pajamas chasing a wayward child in glee, with a sink full of dirty dishes and a heart filled with childlike joy.
He gave us each the ability to be happy despite our failures. To find the happiness in each moment even when there is a mountain of clothes to be folded. He gave us each separate talents and abilities and the means to recognize the success in it.
We cannot all be good at everything. To be great at one thing you must fail at another.
God does not define us by our failures. Why do we define each other by them?
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